HOW DO DADS COPE WITH TRAVELING AWAY FROM THEIR KIDS
As my team from Small Army and Old Harbor Productions travel together through Europe shooting small films for SolidWorks, I noticed that the producer was taking out a little Buzz Lightyear and snapping photos in front of iconic locations throughout our trip. I couldn’t help but finally ask what was up with all the Buzz pictures. Steve told me that his son is 4 years old and looks forward to his dad taking pictures of Buzz throughout the world. Buzz has been to more places that most of us could ever hope to go. Steve’s son loves this. And so does Steve. After all, he spends about 80% of his time traveling the world to create commercials and films for big name clients like GM, Audi, Gillette and SolidWorks to name just a few.
I thought it would be interesting to do a Google search to see how prevalent the topic is on the internet. You know, to see how other dads cope and offer advice to other dads. The search was, The search was, "How do dads cope with traveling away from their kids“. “The very first Google find was, “How could men get away without paying child support?” The second was by a mom blogger who wrote, “Kids acting out cuz they miss their dads.” And finally, “Moving away and custody of fathers.” Maybe it’s just a matter of bad SEO from other sites but this is what came up. Nowhere were dads talking about how they cope with being away from their kids. I thought that Steve’s approach was a great idea. Where ever he goes in the world, he feels a connection when he takes out Buzz Lightyear from his busy job, and takes a moment to snap a picture of Buzz LIghtyear conquering foreign lands in a polymer plastic uniform that could only be from the future. Steve then sends the pictures home and his son knows that his dad is always thinking of him as he introduces Buzz to new places but will ultimately return to the loving arms of his son.
My 6-month old son has no idea that daddy is traveling. He simply knows that I don’t exist when I’m not there. After 13 days apart I will magically appear again. I expect that he will hear my voice and see my smiling face and break out into a giant smile and uncontrollably kick and shake with delight and forgive me for magically disappearing for so long. And while I love traveling and meeting intelligent people with great stories, I never stop thinking of my son. And when i see others pushing their child’s stroller or hear a child cry, I feel a yank at my heart, or is it my soul, that says, get home quickly. One of the things I do to cope with being away from my son is writing this blog to stay connected to dadhood in a small way. It’s important for me to do something every day that involves my son even if I’m not home. So the blog is one way. Shopping for small presents is also rewarding. And as a songwriter, writing little songs about or for him also scratches the itch of being a dad who may not be with his child but is still connecting the best way he can think of. This to me, is very important to being a dad.
Tomorrow we travel to Germany for our last film of this trip. It will last 4 days and then I will be back home in Boston to see my brave and loving wife, and my perpetually happy son. I hope they greet me with open arms.
If you have any stories or suggestions of how you cope when away from your family, please let us know. We dads can use all the help we can get.
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FAMILY'S FIRST TRANSATLANTIC FLIGHT
36,000 feet above the Atlantic and Conor and I were on top of the world. The gate agent at Luftansa in Boston had taken good care of us and with only three empty seats on the plane, she worked enough magic that Valerie moved into a middle seat one row away while Conor got her seat for no additional cost. This meant we got to use our car infant seat to wedge into the cramped quarters of the economy class at seat 19A. The 25-year old sitting in the seat directly in front of Conor was the only loser in the equation. Not because Conor cried because he didn’t. He slept soundly from take-off until an hour before landing. But because the seats were so cramped, the guy couldn’t recline his seat even one inch. He eventually stopped looking back in frustration and fell asleep.
Cleverly, Valerie had booked a flight that didn’t leave Boston until 10;20pm. This was two hours after Conor’s bedtime and sure enough, he was fast asleep for takeoff. And as we landed, I gave him a bottle of milk to ease the pressure in his ears and he flew like a champ. Within no time, we had switched from plane to train and was on our way to Kassel, Germany. Flying with my son has always been a fear of mine but after today, I have to say that it was relaxing and even fun. The flight attendants and even fellow travelers are much nicer and gives us all something to talk about. - See more at: http://dadsdecoded.com/blog/index_files/archive-may-2012.html#sthash.6jL33UpS.dpuf