children
AFTER TWO WEEKS OF RADIO SILENCE WITH A WORKING LOBSTER BOAT
After 2 weeks of radio silence, I emerge with the beginnings of a refurbished wooden lobster boat. Today, Valerie, Conor and I tested the new boat on the ocean. Okay, I took it out first to make sure everything was working properly. After a few tweaks, we all headed out together. If you can't see Conor, he's the one behind the life vest and under the hat. It was super sunny and if you haven't noticed from other pictures, he's Irish white. So sunburn is not an option.
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CONOR GOES TO NEW ORLEANS
New Orleans is known for its many shops, rituals and parades that honor the dead. Conor's not so sure he likes the practice. - See more at: http://dadsdecoded.com/blog/index_files/archive-sep-2012.html#sthash.fuCD9zcQ.dpuf
THERE ARE NO STRINGS ON CONOR
Conor may be his own man but it turns out that babies don't swallow solid foods automatically. As it turns out, they have to learn how to swallow. That's why they start out with soft food and slowly learn to eat things that have a thicker consistency and eventually little pieces of chicken and beef mixed in. I always thought they ate soft foods because of they had no teeth. But that was only half the story. Here, Conor hasn't grasped the idea of swallowing. Poor little guy.
CONOR'S FIRST BIRTHDAY
Conor's first birthday was on a Tuesday so we plan to wait until Saturday to have a party. We're not that into parties but it is his first one so we opted to invite a few of the neighbors. But tonight, we opened his big present from us; a #1 red race car. He and his dog are pretty impressed.
RAISING YOUR KIDS TO BE ENTREPRENEURS
Do you ever look at your child and wonder, "What's he/she going to grow up to be?" And do you wonder what role you play in that decision? Well, I sure do. I play the piano, the guitar and the flute for my son daily in hopes that he'll get interested in playing music when he gets older. I'm not saying I want him to be a professional musician, but I know that music has been a great communication tool for me when I need to get things off my chest. Or I want to tell others what's inside my head.
I read him books and tell him stories so he understands words, speaking and inflections of voice. I think it may help him enjoy books and reading when he gets older because that's where all the answers are. I try to pick out toys that are wooden, and fabric that are texturally interesting to the touch so that he appreciates aesthetics and design.
My wife and I talk and laugh around him and are affectionate so he sees that these are the ways we treat others that we care about.
But there's still something lacking as I try to teach my son how to think as an adult. I was always taught to work hard and everything else will follow. And it has worked out okay for me to some degree. But as I grew older, I saw that there were others around me that were not working as hard as me but were just as successful or more so. And I wondered, 'what do they know that I don't?" And one day I picked up the book, "Rich Dad, Poor Dad," and it began to sink in. I have come to believe that it's not necessary to work hard as it is to work smart. And this means understanding the world around us. It means to discover what others around us need or want and find ways to provide it. And when we discover how to provide it, delegate those tasks to others so it frees us up to make other discoveries. It's called being an entrepreneur. Since I have moved to Boston, I have met dozens of entrepreneurs and am friends with many of them. And i'm intrigued with their belief system.
Most of these entrepreneurs are no smarter than your average Joe and sometimes, not as smart. And they don't pretend to be smarter. It is their natural ability to think of an idea and hire someone to find the solutions for them. It doesn't dawn on them that they don't know enough to run a company. It doesn't cross their minds that they are in over their heads. They just know that they have an idea and that if someone should be able to make money from that idea, why not them. In essence, they claim their prize, they step into the ring with both feet and only then do they ask, "How in the world am I going to succeed. And one step at a time, they find solutions to each problem.
I began to wonder if I could teach my son to think this way. And in my search, I came across a TedTalks speech by Cameron Herold that really made me think that perhaps there is a road map. I think the speaker is a little too quick to assume some of his points. But that's exactly what an entrepreneur does so I cut him some slack. But I took many of his points to heart and will incorporate those examples that make sense to me as I teach Conor to be self sufficient, independent and to think bigger in a world that needs big answers.
Here's the speech and examples of how to get your child to think like an entrepreneur.
BROTHERS GRIMM MINUS THE GRIM
OUR SON IS SHOWING NO SIGNS OF SHYNESS
It was cold today in Boston and Conor needed to run around so we took him to Natick Mall where they have a little kids indoor playground. After he got tired out, we visited the Yogibo store, Yogibos are like the bean bag equivalent of 1978. Except cooler. When we arrived, there were a few girls trying out the Yogibos and having a good time. Conor, not having a shy bone in his body, inserted himself into the middle of their conversation and somehow made the meeting about him. I dug around the internet to see if this was a normal attribute in kids and it's not necessarily so. There are in fact, shy kids and it's usually hereditary if they exhibit signs at an early age. There is a stage of infant development called 'stranger anxiety' and it doesn't last very long in the development process. And Conor has shown signs of it at times but after he sized up the situations, he ran into them head first.
THE SIMPLIST OF THINGS CAN BE A REAL PLEASURE
CONOR MEETS A BOBCAT FACE TO FACE
On Saturday afternoon, the rumor started in the neighborhood that a bobcat had been caught in a neighbor's trap by the Resaca. Not one to be left out of a good adventure, my dad, myself and Conor headed over to see if the rumor was true. Sure enough, a couple of neighbors had gathered 'round to see the frustrated cat in the trap. After a call to the animal control unit, a fearless Mexican American cowboy showed up and asked the neighbors if they minded if he just let the bobcat loose in the neighborhood instead of taking it away from it's natural habitat. After the neighbors agreed, the ten gallon hatted cowboy took the bobcat to the edge of a wooded lot and before he could set the bobcat free, the bobcat banged himself out the back of the trap and busted out. He ran so fast he landed in the lake and had to swim out and run like crazy for freedom. It was pretty exciting to watch. I captured the moment on the iPhone and was surprised at how well it turned out.
CONOR MEETS A BOBCAT FACE TO FACE IN TEXAS
On Saturday afternoon, the rumor started in the neighborhood that a bobcat had been caught in a neighbor's trap by the Resaca. Not one to be left out of a good adventure, my dad, myself and Conor headed over to see if the rumor was true. Sure enough, a couple of neighbors had gathered 'round to see the frustrated cat in the trap. After a call to the animal control unit, a fearless Mexican American cowboy showed up and asked the neighbors if they minded if he just let the bobcat loose in the neighborhood instead of taking it away from it's natural habitat. After the neighbors agreed, the ten gallon hatted cowboy took the bobcat to the edge of a wooded lot and before he could set the bobcat free, the bobcat banged himself out the back of the trap and busted out. He ran so fast he landed in the lake and had to swim out and run like crazy for freedom. It was pretty exciting to watch. I captured the moment on the iPhone and was surprised at how well it turned out.
TAYLOR SWIFT WAS A CHILD REJECTED BY HER PEERS
23/04/13 06:47 Filed in: children | pop culture
This is such an interesting article about a mother who was pained to watch her own daughter be rejected by her peers. Instead of playing with her friends, multi-platinum recording artist Taylor Swift, opted to write and play songs in her bedroom as a pre-famous teen. Well, I guess Taylor Swift has no shortage of friends now. But then again, how many of them are hanger-ons and how many are died-in-the-wool friends? Great article in Elle Magazine; http://www.elle.com/pop-culture/cover-shoots/taylor-swift-3?cid=obinsite
CONOR AND DAD SING, "GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE"
16/07/13 16:02
Conor and Dad singing, "George of the Jungle" from steve kolander on Vimeo.
Conor's at a great age now where he can understand me better and try to carry on a conversation. He's a little parrot these days and very good at mimicking and learning. Here we are learning the "George Of The Jungle" song.
CONOR GOES TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. AGAIN.
Today, it got a little breezy in the back when Conor was admitted to Children’s hospital because of a super painful stomach cramp.
I got a call from Conor’s daycare that he had been crying for an hour, holding his stomach and saying that it hurt. They had tried to call once and now was trying again. I jumped in the car and headed to pick him up. Only two days before, he had the same issue and we took him to the hospital to get checked out. But because he was no longer in pain, they decided to just watch and see.
Today, we headed straight to Children’s Hospital and had him checked again. This time, thoroughly. It started with x-rays which he hated but it wasn’t painful. It was just a scary looking room with a big machine that looked like a monster. They really need to get in there and paint that room to look like something fun. It wouldn’t be hard at all. Then, they sent us all upstairs so he could have an ultrasound. He was so over that x-ray room that he wasn’t pleased to have to lie down and have jelly rubbed on his tummy so they could slide that plastic paddle around on his tummy. So he cried crocodile tears even though the procedure was painless.
Eventually, they decided he may just be really constipated so they gave him an enema to make him poo. He cried some more but was so tired from the other two experiences that he was resigned to let the nurse do her thing and he just laid on the pillow and cried. Valerie and I felt bad for him but we had seen him in pain when his stomach would cramp up so this didn’t seem like such a difficult decision. And now we are pretty sure he’ll be okay.
CONOR HAS AN ODD REQUEST OF HIS DOCTOR
10/10/13 21:36
After five hours of poking and prodding at Children’s Hospital, arguably the best hospital for children in the world, the doctor gave Conor a little package of graham crackers and an apple juice to fill his hungry little tummy. Whereby Conor, at 2-years old looked up at the doctor and said, “I want some hummus, please.” The doctor doubled over in laughter and said in all the years she’d been treating children, she’d never heard such a request. She apologized for not having any hummus then left as laughter echoed down the hall. It was a good ending to a long day at the hospital. Conor was okay after all and his extreme stomach ache was simply due to an extreme case of constipation. Ouch.
CONOR'S MAKING FRENCH TOAST FOR DAD TODAY
14/11/13 21:00
I just keep getting surprised at how much our boy is growing up. He’s already helping dad with maintenance projects around the house and now with breakfast and dinner, too. HIs favorite kitchen tool is the ‘patchula.’
IT'S NOT DEFIANCE, THE TESTING IS HEALTHY
At 2 years old, Conor is in full swing of testing Valerie and me. Just last night, I told him to stop jumping up the stairs so he wouldn’t accidently fall. He jumped up the next stair and looked back, grinning. I repeated my request and it triggered him to jump up the next step and turn around, grinning. I wondered if I should put him in a timeout for disobeying or pick him up and get him out of the ‘hot’ area.
According to Susanne Ayers Denham, a developmental psychologist, kids aren’t being defiant when they ‘test’ us. She points out that toddlers are trying to grapple with the rules of the family. They’re still trying to figure out if you need to be there to correct them each time and how they can ‘own’ the rule so they follow it even when you’re not there.
When you figure that this ‘testing’ coincides with their increasing need to be independent, it’s hard to read when a child needs to be reprimanded and when a child needs some room to learn and grow. I find this line increasingly blurry and need a constant dose of psychologists to remind me that my amazing son is following human instincts and isn’t just trying to be a pain in the ass on any given day. So thank you, Susanne, for your help today.